Place to Be

Here’s what I’m thinking about today as I slowly sip a cup of coffee.

Home.

It’s one of the things I’ve been wrestling with this year. I’ve lived in Colorado for almost two years now but in many ways I still feel very new. Sometimes it feels like I’ve settled here, but to be honest it’s more like I’ve just become good friends with Colorado Springs. We’ve had a few fights (blazing fires, snow in April) and we’ve had some good times (hiking in the hills, summer-length summers) but I have known Home so deeply in WA that it’s hard to compare it. In fact, I don’t want to compare the two places.

One thing that solidifies my desire to understand all of it is a conversation I had with the last speaker in the school a few weeks ago. He used to travel around the world and teach the way I have been dreaming of doing and so I asked him if he would sit down with me and give me some pointers about doing this well. He had some really good tips. One of them was to have a home to come back to- not a house necessarily, but a community and a place where I feel grounded… Continue reading “Place to Be”

The Greatest of These

Obedience and disobedience.

It wasn’t until I was talking to a friend the other day that I realized something really good has shifted in my heart and mind concerning obedience. It goes along with the post I made about dancing or being a dog.

I went through this period of time last year when I felt like I kept hearing God telling me to do the most seemingly insignificant, in-the-moment things. While I had been longing to hear him constantly and obey him always, this almost felt like micro managing.

Typing that out it sounds like I’m complaining about God. The truth is… I felt annoyed. It seemed like being followed around by someone who was constantly correcting and judging me.

And I wrestled with this. I didn’t want to ask God to leave me alone! That’s the very last thing I want to ask God. And I didn’t want to tell God he was annoying me. Can you imagine?

Was it even God?… Continue reading “The Greatest of These”

I’m only sleeping

I find myself feeling empty a lot. Empty feels like a lot of other emotions but when someone asks me “What’s wrong?” and I can’t place why I feel tired/sad/lonely/frustrated/angry… I realize I am empty of energy.

Why am I so empty? I can think of several reasons. One is a lack of exercise. Since coming back to Colorado I haven’t worked out once. I took a much needed rest from routine but at some point rest begins to weaken me. Reason two is lack of sleep. It’s not that I go to bed so late, but I do go to bed late and then I don’t sleep very well. I wake up with very little time in the morning to breath and realize why I’m grateful to be alive before I head into a new and confusing job…. Continue reading “I’m only sleeping”

Words, Light and the Need for Sleep

Word and light.

Jesus has been called both.

I cannot speak life giving words or hold out sight giving light without being closely connected – INTIMATE – with the one who is The Word and the Light of the world.

(Just last night I was talking to God about intimacy with Him. I asked Him how I might have this since it is a real and ongoing need but it is also so often elusive.)

This morning I woke up after the usual disturbing dreams and felt okay. The room was clean and a new day was ahead but also my head was foggy and I felt really tired. Shower, coffee, breakfast and then down to the big room for worship with the whole base.
This time of worship was a bit too intense for me…. Continue reading “Words, Light and the Need for Sleep”

Tale of a Tire

Here we are in Idaho after a long adventure.

My sister Jill has a big ol’ RV which we rocked out in, flying down the sunny highway between Seattle and Spokane – 80’s style. Jill’s music mix featured AC/DC, Billy Squire, Rush, Fleetwood Mac and much more music from our childhoods. While the kids entertained themselves with technology and games, we sung along loud and tuneless and felt the bonds of always knowing each other blasting at us through the speakers of Jill’s ’92 Flair.

Those hours were good… those hours of rolling down the road in a rocking living room – but our carefree moments were¬†interrupted¬†by a sudden THUMP…. BUMP…. Continue reading “Tale of a Tire”