The Excellence of Joy

Several things want to burst out of my head and go galloping across this page.
I’ll start with the first and hopefully I will not get lost in a tangent and forget the big second thing.

Excellence
Last week this woman, a prophet, came and prayed  over us in class. Whatever you may think of prophesy or prayer, this woman was a beautiful, loud and honest version of wonderful. She said something to me about my desire for excellence in the details. At first I thought she was saying that I’m Detail Oriented, which would be an extremely inaccurate way to describe me. Unlike my mother and most of my close women friends, I am not a bean counter or an organizer. I do not get so much joy from making lists and checking them twice.
What she really meant was that I am Beauty Oriented…. Continue reading “The Excellence of Joy”

Part of You Pours Out of Me

Growth is painful. I attest to this.
Do I have to ask whether it is worth it?

Would I change the things I have gone through if I had the choice? This question has always bothered me a little. I wouldn’t want to boil down my hard times to one or two “why”s. Oh, THIS is why that happened. I don’t want to do that because it seems to limit the ripple effect of growth.

Today a friend payed me a high compliment by saying that he enjoys how honest I am with myself… not just honest to others about who I am, but honest with myself about who I am. After he said this I considered how it would be if I did otherwise… or rather, how it is when I do otherwise. I constantly come back to the reality that I must always live with myself. I cannot get away from me, no matter what I do or where I go. I am with myself when I wake up in the morning, at my side all day, and then, still there when I lay down to sleep at night….. Continue reading “Part of You Pours Out of Me”

Beloved, listen to me

Yesterday morning I spent some time reading Isaiah. For some reason this is the main thing I read when I read the Bible.

I’m drawn to Isaiah.
I find myself identifying with him, craving the words there to be spoken to me and also,  I’ll be honest, I find myself a bit confused sometimes. I used to struggle with making his words personal. I wanted to, but I often told myself,  “No, this was a long time ago and God was just speaking to Israel”, but there are actually many places in Isaiah where God speaks directly to those ‘outside’.

Here is what I read yesterday… Continue reading “Beloved, listen to me”

Where everyone would love to drown

One of my dearest friends ever got married on Saturday. Jessica Beach Wilson. (she gotta married!)

The couple was stunning. He in pale pink, she in pale yellow- both tall and beautiful people. I was blessed to be able to fly back for the weekend to be there for the party.

What I find hard about parties is that I feel compelled to really connect with everyone I love. I am much better with one on one time than at parties. When there are a lot of people  I have a hard time deciding who I should actually connect with since often there is not enough time to do this with everyone in a way that, at the end of the night, I feel like I did it well.
Invariably I end the time (which feels like it has gone in fast forward) thinking (in slow motion) over each interaction and how I could have done my part better. Walking home from my friends house Saturday night I was feeling guilty about several things- ways I “failed” that day and then I sort of pulled out of myself and thought “That is really unnecessary and unkind for you to do this to yourself”.

Is it just me?…. Continue reading “Where everyone would love to drown”

The Generosity of Ravens

In class we’re watching this video by Eric Foley about “transformational giving” vs. “transactional giving”.

I don’t know that I want to talk a lot about the video right now but I was really struck by a particular story the speaker highlighted.

So here is the story he highlights… it’s in 1 Kings 17:7-24.

God takes care of Elijah in the strangest ways. Just before the story I’m focusing on here, God provides food for Elijah with some Ravens! (This happens again with an angel  in chapter 19 when Elijah gets depressed.)
Then God sends him to this “donor”… this person who will take care of his need for food (since there is a drought in the area).

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The donor? A widow. A woman with a son and no husband. When Elijah asks her for a piece of bread she says that not only does she not have any bread, she is about to go home and make one last meal for her and her son with the very last of their food- and then they will die because it is the last of what they have in all the world to eat…. Continue reading “The Generosity of Ravens”

Unbirthday Gifts

Currently I am sitting across from two of my nephews. Randall and Jonathan. They are 10 and 11 years old. Cousins who are also friends. Randall is fake coughing to make me laugh or … annoy me? He is also a little annoyed that I’m writing about him on the internet. Jonathan explains that I may be planning world domination with my typing. So we sit across from each other and make silly faces and noises. When he discovers that I’m  typing about our interactions, Randall furrows his brow- an impressively clear message is given.  He is not pleased with my public communications about him.

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Later in life he may be both proud and embarrassed to know what an amazing Aunt he has and how much she adores him.

But this is not what I meant to sit down and write about…. Continue reading “Unbirthday Gifts”

Talking to Strangers

I have been hearing a lot lately about “The Woman at the Well”.

This is a story about Jesus and a Samaritan woman found in John chapter 4. The messages that I’ve heard recently point out various interesting points and thoughts about what is said in the story but I realize as I read it myself that I am not a great scholar. I read my notes and am moved but then cannot remember how it is connected with the words in the story. So as much as I want to  share with you the profound things I heard, I think the only thing I can share with you is what I read for myself in this story…. Continue reading “Talking to Strangers”

Set Yourself on Fire

What a week. Really.
I’m not sure how to tell the story. Where to start or what to share.

It’s not like I chase drama. Generally I like to be Just Fine. So it was probably not a good idea to go into Monday with so little sleep. Why didn’t I sleep? I don’t know. But I didn’t sleep and then I set out to run errands. After wandering, confused around Costco for a while (remember I’m tired) I get in my car to discover that it. won’t. start.

Wait. What? Try again. Won’t. Start.
Also? I smell a lot of gas…. Continue reading “Set Yourself on Fire”

Consider the Lily

Yesterday I spoke at church. It was just a few minutes in each service, but I was still pretty nervous before hand. I did okay in the first service, really good in the second service and then by the third service I seemed to lose my focus and just kind of stumbled through the information. Sorry, third service people. Thanks, Pastor Pat for laughing at the joke I flubbed.
Today I feel good to be on the other side of something that I was nervous about. You know?

So not only is today Monday, but it is also the first day of August. My Last Month Before Leaving Washington. Also my last month before arriving in Colorado Springs. I can see it from both sides…. Continue reading “Consider the Lily”

“Having coffee”

I just had coffee with my friend Heidi. Having coffee involves so much more than just drinking liquid from a cup… When I say “I had coffee with my friend” I mean so much more. We connected.

One thing I’ve been thinking about lately (among the many things I’ve been thinking about) is how we understand different things about the world and about ourselves depending on who we’re having coffee with… Continue reading ““Having coffee””

Running headlong

I had a talk yesterday with Jessica about The Unknown.
Somehow the unknown used to seem less scary. Maybe I was naively optimistic about the possible outcomes. Now I am not quite a cynic, but I am more wary. Also I have learned how awesome it can be to be known and know others… to get good and comfortable in the familiar.

When I think about moving to Colorado sometimes I feel afraid. It’s very unknown and I will be leaving some pretty incredible people who have become so dear to me…. Continue reading “Running headlong”

Are we there yet?

You can now officially “follow me” (to the right of this post is an orangey thing you can click on for this purpose). Hopefully that following will involve you running ahead sometimes and giving me your own stories from the road. I would also like to follow you 🙂

Before we really begin this journey together- in the land of blog – I’ll make this post for the purpose of telling you my intentions for our time together.
I want to share as much of my life with you here as a) I have time for b) I have words for and c) You have interest in… Continue reading “Are we there yet?”