The Wild Quiet

Going for walks in the morning is like stepping into a fairytale as some sick, old creature. The woods are glittery and towering, decorated with a million invisible strands of web, still drenched by the rainstorm from several days ago. Naturally I listen to music while I walk, and this just adds to the beauty and romance of the trail.

I didn’t appreciate Robert Frost’s poetry until I moved to Warm Beach Camp, but walking through the woods every day from my apartment to the bakeshop, I got to know nature in a much more personal way than I ever had before…

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Place to Be

Sometimes I run out of words. There is some magical balance between structure and freedom which I am trying to strike. Too much structure and I become too stressed and anxious to function well, too much freedom and many important left-brain abilities go out the window- the most noticeable of these being communication.

To combat this atrophy, I’ve been doing crossword puzzles and reading books. I have even managed to write in my journal, but I’m still not really at a place to make focused, thoughtful posts.

For that reason, I have taken pictures for my post today. This represents the corner I turned yesterday. Not only did I have two very helpful conversations with two wise women about Rest, but I also cleaned and organized my room- making it a much more comfortable place to work stuff out….

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The Meaning of Life

Continuing with thoughts from Perelandra… here is something I’ve been meaning to share for a few weeks. The way I have been spending my time has not lent itself much to reading and with school coming I must make time to read, but probably not this great book.

As you may know, Ransom spent the first book of the “space trilogy” on a planet called Malacandra- which we know as Mars. It is his and our introduction to  life on other planets. While he is there, he becomes close with a particular “tribe” of beings. He learns their language and their ways which serve to be part of the reason he is commissioned to take another trip in the second book….

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Midwinter Nights Walk

It was probably close to 50F when I left Jessica’s house a few hours ago intending to come home and possibly read or knit. The walk from Jessica’s to the house I’m staying is short enough that I almost do not have to experience the weather before I am back inside. Thankfully a light breeze caressed my cheek just halfway home and I took the gesture as an invitation to take a walk. In addition to the nearly warm night air, my tummy was very full from some delicious, spicy dish I had just eaten at Jessica’s.
Add to that a head full of questions, prayers and thoughts, and you have the perfect ingredients for a very good, long walk….

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Multiple Choice Personality

I recently took the Meyers Briggs test again. Several years ago when I took it said I was ENFP.  Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving.

The info given seemed pretty accurate at the time.

When I took the test the other day I came up INFP. I went from being an extrovert to being an introvert. In one sense this is not such a big deal- my score as an extrovert several years ago was pretty close to the middle and my score now as an introvert is pretty close to the middle.

Somehow it still causes me to see myself differently. I have a  list of some of the main characteristics of all of the personality types and I find it interesting how much more I identify with the INFP than I do with the ENFP. So the shift is possibly not superficial but goes deeper into the ways I have been changed in the last few years.

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Intimacy vs. Isolation

Although we have been talking about Creative Process this week, the thing I have been thinking about (in my “spare” thinking time) is the difference between intimacy and isolation. They are, I believe, absolutely apposed.

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Intimacy: close or warm friendship or understanding; personal relationship, emotional warmth and closeness

Isolation: the failure of an individual to maintain contact with others, apart from others

I don’t think I know anyone who does not long for intimacy. There are several ways to experience this kind of closeness – but it is difficult to cultivate and maintain for some reason. It requires trust. And vulnerability. And there are a lot of unhealthy short cuts……

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Words, Light and the Need for Sleep

Word and light.

Jesus has been called both.

I cannot speak life giving words or hold out sight giving light without being closely connected – INTIMATE – with the one who is The Word and the Light of the world.

(Just last night I was talking to God about intimacy with Him. I asked Him how I might have this since it is a real and ongoing need but it is also so often elusive.)

This morning I woke up after the usual disturbing dreams and felt okay. The room was clean and a new day was ahead but also my head was foggy and I felt really tired. Shower, coffee, breakfast and then down to the big room for worship with the whole base.
This time of worship was a bit too intense for me….

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The fence between Solitude and Loneliness

Solitude is a good thing, right? I think so. I think it’s possible to find solitude when I am not alone but what happens when I’m alone is the interesting thing because it seems to happen so rarely.

There is always the possibility, in this alone kind of solitude that things will turn south towards loneliness.  Is this the point when you know you should reach out to others? What if it’s the middle of the night and you just can’t sleep?

Last night I was in this very situation…..

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