Heart as a House

Something I discovered last year stays true today; breakdown leads to breakthrough. After the crying moments I experienced last week, there has been so much more peace.

This week God gave me a picture of something really beautiful concerning these dark places in my heart that I had noticed but wasn’t sure what to do with. Bear with me while I give some back story: In 2003 there were several times when my heart was likened to a house. At the time the house was shut up tight. Blinds down, door locked. It was pretty cozy in the living room area with a fire in the fire place, but no one was getting in there with me. Two other pictures of this house that year involved my struggle with depression and that soon I would stand up from a slump I had been experiencing.
Then several years later I was dealing with some issues I had with food and had a mental picture of that same house with a big, hungry monster in the basement. Insatiable, demanding and grown out of a desire to protect myself from pain.

I’ve been walking out some awesome healing this year. I have been finding more and more how God really will satisfy my needs…. and that most of those needs come down to a need for love. This is so good and feels a little bit like learning how to fly….

So here’s the picture I had the other morning during worship: As I was singing, that old picture of my heart as a house came to my mind. Same house as I remember from years and years ago. At that particular moment, I was basically telling God that I wanted him to have every part of me, every piece. So when the house popped into my mind, I immediately interacted with it by picturing myself running to every window and every door and throwing them all wide open.  I did this and then stepped out the front door, off the porch and then down into the grass, the sun beaming down on my upturned face.

As I stepped outside, the Spirit of God rushed into the house and here is what he did;

the basement door came off completely and the monster was slain and thrown out. All of the boxes and refrigerators down there were transformed.What used to hold shelves of ice cream now held revelations of God’s love. Everything swept, all rats and cobwebs gone and the stairs were no longer precarious. In the kitchen itself all food items were replaced with God’s word (similar to something Jeremiah says).

Up in the attic, where my memories were kept, everything was sparkly clean and organized. Photos were in albums and a cozy rocking chair sat by the open window. I have a frame in my real life room which is three matted photos – they are of my daughter Sarah from the day that she was alive. This same frame was in my heart attic except that instead of the pictures being the same ones of her as an infant, they were three different and moving pictures of her now- doing things that most 5yr olds don’t get to do. In one picture she had her face painted like a tiger and she was pouncing around playfully with an actual tiger. In another picture she was waltzing with a branchy tree.

Every broken thing that God came across as he swept through the house, he scooped up into his hands to deal with himself. Every corner of the house was cleaned, the furniture repaired, the decorations beautifully transformed. There are rooms that I have not explored, but I know when I do they will not be the old, dusty rooms they once were.

Is this very weird? My brain works so much in pictures that for me this was a powerful moment and has lingered with me, reshaping how I view both God and myself.

What about you? What metaphor would you use to describe your heart? What has/is happening there? What do you hope will happen?

5 Comments

  1. Heather Tarpinian
    May 3, 2013

    Keggy Pelly!:) I love your house metaphor! So so so clear and vibrant! Thank you for sharing. My metaphor is a forest hike. The untransformed path looks like a dark wood that has been over grown with poisonous plants after a terrible forest fire ravaged all life. And even after finding meadows of vibrant life I am draw do the erie darkness behind me. I feel as though I need to be startled by it’s death and be death with it but His song whispers through the bones of that death and reminds me that even though my journey started there and I still tarry with death he has mysteriously irraticated my poisonous death bearing bone like bring and granted me a verdant meadow to grow and participate in life instead of urn to be life yet incapable of it.

    • pegster
      May 3, 2013

      I love that, Heather! Thank you for sharing that!

      May you participate joyfully in the life you’ve been given!
      I just started reading this book called A Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and what you said reminds me a bit of how and what she writes.

  2. angie
    May 4, 2013

    I think this is very lovely, and I will think of this when I am at the camp tomorrow, for a part of women’s retreat. Often I don’t even take the time to evaluate what my heart even looks or feels like because I am looking out of it too much without looking back upon it. I suppose it is sort of like always driving around in a vehicle that you rarely step out of and do maintenance checks on. 🙂 I think it is a wonderful thing to step out and see what God, the master mechanic, is doing in and around me. So I guess my heart is like a car!

    • pegster
      May 4, 2013

      Angie, that’s great! I love that you found your metaphor by accident 🙂

      I’m excited for you guys with the women’s retreat! I pray you all have a great time of teaching and fellowship in the presence of our Father.

  3. Heidi
    May 4, 2013

    This is beautiful. I don’t have a metaphor for my heart, but now I want one!

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