I’m Only Sleeping

I’m pretty sure I have jet lag every morning of my life.

I go to bed at night trying to tattoo into my mind the excitement I want to feel when my alarm goes off. In the morning, just a little too early, the cell phone song cuts through a thick fog of dreams, disturbing and addictive dreams. Whatever I thought the night before no longer ever existed. Coming up out of the water of sleep, my eyes sting and I suck in handfuls of air trying to find my phone in the dark. I sit up after turning the noise off and I take breaths that come from somewhere deep, like my body is the earth and some hidden cavern holds life, miles and miles from the surface.

Sometimes I check the media on my phone, little slices of affirmation or conflict that I feel dully, but feel more than understand. If I have enough wisdom, I refrain from looking at my phone because I know that all of those panting dogs will wait.

I blink, blink, close my eyes reminding them what it’s like to be awake. “Be awake!” I try to shout to my insides because they weigh so much more than usual… Continue reading “I’m Only Sleeping”

Zombie Life

Although I have mostly integrated my Western Washington self and my Colorado Springs self, I find the first day or two after traveling really disorienting.

Coming back to Colorado is the more disorienting of the two transitions. It doesn’t help when I have lost a lot of sleep.

So Wednesday night I had two hours of sleep. This led to a very confusing time checking in at the airport at 5am on Thursday. They have those machines now, the do-it-yourself check-in touch screen computer screens. Although I was flying into Denver, I did not remember this until I’d failed three times on the computer screen typing in Colorado Springs, and then stood in line and talked to a real person. The real woman I spoke to made me wait, “I’m not ready for you yet,” and probably because I was so tired, I felt sure that she was clacking away nonsense on her computer keyboard simply to put me in my place. I explained the confusion I felt that my flight didn’t exist and it wasn’t until she used the word, “Denver” that I realized my mistake.

Once I was finally back in my room in Colorado, I did some random unpacking and took a nap. Then I read, or tried to read and took another nap. Last night, exhausted at 9pm, I fell asleep hard and woke up almost twelve hours later. This was not disturbing to me, but a relief to have gotten sleep I obviously needed.

What was disturbing is how the day unfolded following this epic sleep… Continue reading “Zombie Life”

Level Up?

Today I advance one year in the age game. I’m not bothered by the number, although since I spend most of my time with people a decade younger, I joke that I’ll be turning 29 again.

The day did not start out so good. I woke up a little after 5 to work out…

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otherwise known as walking to Starbucks. The weather report had predicted snow, but this wasn’t as much snow as tiny shards of sharp ice – all flying at my face, regardless of wind direction. About a block and a half from home I slipped on the ice just in the way you see a person encounter a banana peal in the cartoons. Yes, I did laugh at myself, but I also landed in daintiness square on my right hip. If there were a movie of my life, it should start with that moment. It also may end with a  similar moment in fifty years.

Because I’ve been watching this tv show lately about spies, I actually considered the rest of the walk as a stealth challenge.

For a second.

Then I considered what it could feel like to fall on my throbbing hip again and I decided that studying today is quite enough of a challenge.

No other incidents in the last three hours since The Fall, but I’ll keep you updated. In the mean time I’ll be here with a mocha my roommate bought me and my nose in this commentary on Philippians.

Errant Errands

I don’t get out much.

Today all of the necessary things came together for me to mail a package and it was amazing. Here are the laborious steps to such a feat: Find a box. Have an address. Have the money on the same day that I have the ability to borrow a friend’s car, on the same day that I have some free minutes during business hours. Today was just such a  magical day.

I told a friend in July that I wanted to send them something specific in the mail. Near the end of August I thought to buy the right box while I was at Target (cheers and high fives!). I already had packing tape because I’m the girl who always forgets about tape when she believes that buying the box at the post office will work fine and now has 3 rolls of packing tape. So the box was ready to be sent sometime in September and today it finally left my possession (high fives and cheers!).

Here’s what else happened. I wanted to check several things off my list, so I brought some photo CDs to send to another friend. I have their address memorized. Check. I had just deposited enough money to send plenty of things. Great. In my minds eye, I felt sure I could buy one of those padded mailers at the post office and THOSE don’t need tape. Good plan…. Continue reading “Errant Errands”

Flee From Cookie Immorality

I’m back on the wagon.

By that, I mean, I’ve stopped eating sugar…. again. It’s possibly comparable to, say, trying to quit smoking in Ireland or  trying to not eat bread in Germany.

Sugar. Is. Everywhere.

I successfully gave up sugar last year for about 5 months. And then earlier this year I gave it up for Lent. 

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Whenever I talk about this to people they invariably suggest moderation. It’s a good suggestion (and a popular one). Unfortunately, sugar is my trigger to not eat in moderation… so if I just choose one day a week to eat sugar? I spend the two days after that fighting with all of my being to not eat sugar. Whereas, if I never eat it, then I have a much easier time resisting. Not only that, but my cravings in general are reduced….. Continue reading “Flee From Cookie Immorality”

Olympic Game Farm

The adventures continue.
Yesterday I went with a friend to the Olympic Game Farm near (in?) Sequim, Washington.

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The experience was so fun and left no real possibility for me to roll my ankle as we drove through the park. We came upon Yak, Llamas, a Rhino, several Bears that did tricks (Grizzly and Black), Bunnies, a Bengal Tiger, Elk, Deer (of all kinds) and many Bison. Some of these animals are sort of gentle- nibbling the bread out of your hand. Some were much more aggressive and really wanted that bread, thank you…. Continue reading “Olympic Game Farm”

How To Be

I realized last week that I am a real explorer. It hit me on a random trip to the beach.  At first I sat in the car with the windows down reading a bit of my book, “How to Be an Explorer of the World” by Kerri Smith.  The first thing I noticed is that she suggests doing lots of things I already do as a habit (or a quirk?).

Then I grabbed my bag and camera and headed down to the beach. I walked really slowly and took a lot of pictures… the tide was fairly far in so I clambered over logs in my flip flops and a skirt (a long, flowy skirt).

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I just sort of followed my feelings down the beach and ended up sitting on this log, nestled into a cove of branches, logs, a sharply steep hillside and water… green, sludgy water that looked like some kind of healthy oriental soup. Then I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing down observations, taking pictures, thinking… Continue reading “How To Be”