Better Than I Deserve

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a few weeks, but I am not sure how to word it so that it conveys the joy, gratitude, elation, and shock I feel.

Last year while studying so constantly I went without a lot of things. In fact, there was one point when I didn’t have enough money to buy food and when I asked God what was up with this,

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he said, “I want you to be hungry.”
I was hungry most of last year. Hungry for a lot more than just food; hungry for a sense of home, for clothes (everything had holes), for technology that didn’t break down all of the time, for people to share what I was learning with…. there were a lot of things I was hungry for last year.

At the beginning of this year God began to teach me how to really receive his love. Maybe I should have known this already? Maybe it will take all of my life? Wherever you stand on this idea of receiving love, it seems to be something that I’m often learning, but this year it has been much more concentrated…. Continue reading “Better Than I Deserve”

The Excellence of Joy

Several things want to burst out of my head and go galloping across this page.
I’ll start with the first and hopefully I will not get lost in a tangent and forget the big second thing.

Excellence
Last week this woman, a prophet, came and prayed  over us in class. Whatever you may think of prophesy or prayer, this woman was a beautiful, loud and honest version of wonderful. She said something to me about my desire for excellence in the details. At first I thought she was saying that I’m Detail Oriented, which would be an extremely inaccurate way to describe me. Unlike my mother and most of my close women friends, I am not a bean counter or an organizer. I do not get so much joy from making lists and checking them twice.
What she really meant was that I am Beauty Oriented…. Continue reading “The Excellence of Joy”

Unbirthday Gifts

Currently I am sitting across from two of my nephews. Randall and Jonathan. They are 10 and 11 years old. Cousins who are also friends. Randall is fake coughing to make me laugh or … annoy me? He is also a little annoyed that I’m writing about him on the internet. Jonathan explains that I may be planning world domination with my typing. So we sit across from each other and make silly faces and noises. When he discovers that I’m  typing about our interactions, Randall furrows his brow- an impressively clear message is given.  He is not pleased with my public communications about him.

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Later in life he may be both proud and embarrassed to know what an amazing Aunt he has and how much she adores him.

But this is not what I meant to sit down and write about…. Continue reading “Unbirthday Gifts”