Perfecting Weakness

It feels good to be small.

This is my main take-away from six months of sabbatical.

Recently I described the year like being lost in the woods .

It felt like I ceased to be myself for a whole year. I ceased to know the things I thought I knew well and stopped connecting with many things that had previously given me joy and life.

It freaked me out to be unsure of everything I used to know. To add another metaphor to the pile, I was drowning.

And kept drowning…  Continue reading “Perfecting Weakness”

Tale of the Lost Purse

I am about to share a very interesting recent experience. There may be a few things that I will say, without explanation, that sound new or odd… I heartily encourage you to bring it up to me. I feel like the story is important to share but I realize it will not sound like normal reality to everyone. I am comfortable with your skepticism and happy for your conversation.

K. Disclaimer out of the way. Here is my story. It’s long, but worth the time. I promise.

In April I got a note from Washington state telling me my tabs were about to expire (little stickers on your license plate that says you’ve paid car tax for the year). I took care of it online, they came in the mail and I put them in my purse.

Then? My purse disappeared. I mean gone. It’s a little convoluted, but basically, I knew it wasn’t stolen or lost outside of my room because I have two bags I use… this purse and my school bag. When I switch bags, I throw my wallet and keys from the bag I was using into the bag I’m going to use. Without fail I do this. I don’t forget. The problem with my disappearing purse was that I had my wallet and keys. Which means that I had brought it back to my room and done the switch… so the purse had to be in my room. Are you following? It was so unlikely that it could have been anywhere but my room and I. Looked. Everywhere.

My purse was nowhere.

Can I tell you what I really, honestly thought? “God is hiding my purse from me.” I’m not kidding. As sure as I was that He was hiding it from me, I was also sure He had a reason. I could not fathom the reason, but I knew it had to do with me not driving my car because come May 1st, my tabs would expire…. Continue reading “Tale of the Lost Purse”