Wake me up inside

Last night I watched the movie Amazing Grace with a few friends.
I heard about William Wilberforce during the school I did last fall on communications and I am again moved by his dedication to fight injustice… and keep fighting when it seemed too few were listening.

After the movie and while waiting for my laundry to dry I was thinking about this passionate abolitionist and, as

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usual, pondering what I will be when I grow up. I made some steps forward this week by letting go of some responsibilities that were not ‘the thing’  so that I can be freed up to for whatever ‘the thing’ might be. At the same time I have been totally exhausted and realizing that wherever I go I always end up having more people in my heart than I have energy to effectively walk with.
So I need boundaries and I need to stay really close to God who sees it all and knows for whom and how much I should be poured out….

I think I’m stuck with this desire I have to help carry others burdens but being responsible with it means both reaching out when it is painful and stepping back when it’s time to rest. A friend said to me yesterday that this burden to ‘help’ somehow is good but what I need to do once I have helped carry a burden is not keep carrying  it myself but give it to Jesus.

Huh. Why didn’t I think of that?

My thought tonight? Stop wasting time. This is what I am saying to myself.
It’s much easier for me to hear today than it was 5 months ago when the brokenness of my life was still too fresh and raw.

But I’m awake now and I’m listening. What I see are people in need and a handful of people heeding the call to meet that need.
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