What to Expect

Without planning it, my room decor and bedding all match. I noticed this as soon as I cleaned up a little.

Maybe there will be surprises like this around other corners.

It’s not that I put a lot of stock in the much anticipated new year. They happen with increasing frequency. What I do put stock in is God’s character, which I have recently discovered to be wild, deep, loving and fearless. I want to be like him, sure, but more than that I want to just keep seeing him more and more. And somehow the year ahead feels like a clean canvas upon which he will paint something beautiful….

Even that candle I got for free from the food bank matches, and the tissue box I remember I bought but I can’t remember why.

I often come to write a post, type up a few sentences, delete them, write  a few more. Repeat. Then give up on putting words together to make something worth reading. There’s so much to read that is a waste of time. This morning at “the cowboy church” I heard the pastor say something I should have been clinging to this whole time. He said, “Apart from You we have nothing to say, we have nothing to sing.”

I sometimes find myself needing to get things out in words, but all the words are ugly so I go and read His words and it’s like a gorgeous and gentle eraser for the ugly. Other times I write out all the ugly and it seems as if He is just listening. Do you have a friend who knows the truth so well that even just thinking about telling them something that you’re confused by leads you to see it more clearly? Sometimes that happens.

Whatever I think I need to say always comes out better if I start by listening.

This is my hope for the coming year. Dancing over bad anniversaries, swimming through the things I fear holding His fearless hand, maybe a lot of talking, hopefully a lot more listening.

Also, I’d like to hold some babies. Could we arrange that?

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