Where everyone would love to drown

One of my dearest friends ever got married on Saturday. Jessica Beach Wilson. (she gotta married!)

The couple was stunning. He in pale pink, she in pale yellow- both tall and beautiful people. I was blessed to be able to fly back for the weekend to be there for the party.

What I find hard about parties is that I feel compelled to really connect with everyone I love. I am much better with one on one time than at parties. When there are a lot of people  I have a hard time deciding who I should actually connect with since often there is not enough time to do this with everyone in a way that, at the end of the night, I feel like I did it well.
Invariably I end the time (which feels like it has gone in fast forward) thinking (in slow motion) over each interaction and how I could have done my part better. Walking home from my friends house Saturday night I was feeling guilty about several things- ways I “failed” that day and then I sort of pulled out of myself and thought “That is really unnecessary and unkind for you to do this to yourself”.

Is it just me?….

But also I am grateful for several moments. As soon as I picture Jessica and Mosiah trying to get into their car and the ensuing firework-like explosions from 72 popping balloons, I smile.  I love that they threw out the shiny stuff we’d stuffed into the visors… I hope the googly eyes, the words written on the windows and the candy in the glove box give them joy while they are on their honeymoon- I hope it reminds them that they are celebrated and loved by so many.

Also a delight this weekend was my little friend Elijah. Elijah is two years old and he was The Ring Bearer.  As he was coming down the aisle, Elijah saw Janie (flower girl) dropping flowers and said “uh oh” and started to pick them up… but then when he noticed she kept throwing them out on purpose he started laughing and thought it was awesome. When Janie got to the front she turned around to start picking the petals up again. I love that both Elijah and Janie had this sense of order about the petals but I also love that Elijah took delight in the “mess making”. I felt a little like that decorating Jessica’s car. Much thanks to Dave for helping me hunt for decorations and coming up with great ideas about how to make the car fun. And all of the other sneaky, awesome people who helped blow up balloons, make a pretty mess in the car and then saran wrap it all closed.

Jessica texted me yesterday to say that she loved the car- they are getting honked at everywhere they go.

I have a lot of gushy things I to say about my friends back home. Somehow I think it is nothing in the universe- my feelings act like bombs and tidal waves upon me and yet they don’t even ripple sound waves outside of myself. This is incredible to me. And then if I think back on all of the people- all of the feelings of life and love and friendship and family it all shrinks down like ants shouting in unison and still, somehow reverberating in my chest.

I’m so grateful for this last weekend. Returning here to Colorado Springs I am grateful for this place and the opportunity I have to follow a big dream.

To the people who love me- thank you. Thank you.


6 thoughts on “Where everyone would love to drown”

    1. Thank you, Frances 🙂
      It was great to see you! Do you know it’s the first time I’ve ever seen your husband??

      I hope to be back in December and then maybe you can actually introduce me to him 🙂

  1. It was such an honor, inspiring and all around great time to share in this very special time with Mosiah and Jessica and the wonderfully amazing people that participated in the celebration.

    While I saw Janie begin to pick up the petals at the end of the ceremony I completely missed Elijah’s interaction with Janie. From where I was seated I could only see Elijah running down the aisle to quickly deliver the pillow.

    The love, friendship and family was everywhere. So many people giving with the single goal of contributing to Mosiah and Jessica’s union and celebration was – is inspiring. There is far too many examples of experiences and interactions that I witnessed to even begin to summarize. I am simply grateful to have been the gift of sharing and contributing in a small way to the experience.

    Yeah – this comment does feel a little mushy – but I don’t know how else to describe the deep feelings of love and selflessness that I witnessed at Mosiah’ and Jessica’s ceremony and reception. I do believe one or two things may have had a different outcome had you not come equipped with enhanced red blood cells which obviously fueled your ability to inflate dozens of balloons.

    When I try to describe the experience to others I find it very difficult. There was simply too much — skyping the ceremony to Jessica’s Father, the generous, delicious feast (including pies and more pies!), the mass of people who quite efficiently reconfigured the sanctuary to a dining area, beautiful Janie and the super enthusiastic Elijah, Jessica’s beautiful glow and Mosiah’s quiet strength and his obvious deep love for Jessica, the kids popping the balloons and efficiency in which the saran wrapped car was unwrapped, all of the wonderful people I met and seeing friends I’ve met once or twice who treated like family and of course you.

    You are awesome Peggy. I do not recall a time longer than 5 minutes when there was not someone coming in for a hug from you. You are so loved. Yes this is kind of mushy – but it’s true.

    The celebration of Mosiah and Jessica Wilson’s Union was one of the most beautiful experiences I have witnessed in a very long time. Thank you for posting and thank you for you. 🙂

    1. Thanks for the mush 🙂

      Also, thank you for expounding on things I forgot to mention in the post!! What did we miss? That guy who recognized my sister and I from this church we went to 15 years ago… Jessica’s brother Nate’s speech with a lot of love and then a threat at the end…. the coffee that burned my tongue… the amazing jerk chicken and vegetables… also the fact that you grabbed an extra fork when you went to go grab food (thank you)… the back pack vacuum!

      What a good time!

  2. I so agree with you Peggy, on the beauty and incredibleness of the evening , but I can relate to other things you said too . I am terrible at those type of things, terrible at chitchat, terrible at taking initiative. I regret not connecting with you, for one. I am better at doing something alongside someone… If I had known you were blowing up balloons… I would have helped! I hope you are enjoying Colorado springs… I lived there as a teenager and loved the proximity to those beautiful mountains. Nothig beats a brilliantly sunny winter day in Colorado.

    1. Thank you, Tori! It’s a fun surprise to see you here 🙂
      Next time I have 72 balloons to blow up I will first come and find you.

      Colorado is so beautiful. It’s funny, though because without all of the wet, it doesn’t seem to have the same fall smell as home and I miss that a bit. The sun is great! I love that I can count on it when I open the curtains in the morning.

      I’d love to hear how you are doing these days. Are you directing the dinner theater again?

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